FATHER’S  DAY

 

So father’s day has come and gone eh!  And maybe you called to wish the man who meant so much Happy Father’s Day.  Or did you take him to the local Home Depot to buy a new tool and a lawn mow for him to continue working and being active? Maybe you took him to a good restaurant to eat a steak that melts in his mouth! “Wow” As Ben Stein would say, in his signature low key of excitement.

Why should we wait though for the turn of one day once every twelve months, to be so sentimental about this entity of fatherhood, and the source from whence you came?  If it hadn’t been for the fact that he coupled your mother and had his sperm connected to her egg, YOU wouldn’t be here. Yet you wait for the commercialized trick to show your love and your appreciation, sometimes by that terse nonsensical wish.

So you bought him the tool set he wanted! You couldn’t help it really as you were inundated by the plethora of them that lined your pathways through the stores, the days leading up to the day.  Get your gift early they say. You couldn’t resist the coupons for discounted prices and the marketing strategy that made them look “so affordable”.   

By the presentation of this gift with the ubiquitous wish could it be like a Judas kiss that actually is saying, get up papa! Continue to work, work and work more, mow the lawn more with this new machine, fix more things, yes work till you drop dead! Them we will cremate you and fight over the insurance policy amongst other things you left behind. 

Oh no!...you didn’t do that tool thing.  You are a little more sophisticated.  You took him to that posh restaurant uptown, where the meat melts in your mouth and you let him feed his face with one of their choice cuts. Melts in your mouth indeed! Who designed that phrase? Could it have been some sick no teeth person? Certainly not a baby!  So many times I have seen people describing what is supposed to be a good piece of beef, on food channel television, as melting in your mouth.  Shouldn’t this be only for ice cream and other soft mushy stuffs like baby food?

The steaks that are produced today are so soft they melt in your mouth. Indeed those meats that are engineered with steroids and growth hormones amongst other things like artificial feeds.  So the steak will melt in your mouth yes, but is that necessarily something good… or bad?

What do we have teeth for particularly the canine and the molars?  Isn’t it for tearing and chewing?  Growing up in Jamaica our cows used to be fed by only grass that they choose to eat from the range, and they would drink water to wash it down from the ponds or streams. They would then lie down under a tree regurgitate the rough grass and then chew it to a pulp and swallow to complete the digestive process.

That meat did not melt in your mouth, and probably required a little longer cooking time or more cooking skills.  My recollection however, is that it tasted like beef with a distinct flavor that you could enjoy and savor.

You might , however say, Oh!...I didn’t  do any of the above I took my father on a cruise…we went fishing…we spent quality time together.  So what, do you get a cookie now?  Guess what still no cookie for you! You have considered that doing something with him or for him is desirable, and you might be right so I am not really knocking it.

But you love the guy don’t you, and you want him to be around as long as he possible can too.  So my question is did you take the fellow to the doctor to get a full battery of checks? If so, as they would say in Britain, “Brilliant!” but if not shame on you, and you should take some eggs in your face.  Here is why.  A full battery of test would INCLUDE checking his Prostate Specific Antigen  (PSA) level.  This is a life saving technique that early detects prostate cancer where it can be easily rectified. There is also the Digital Rectal Examination (DRE) where the doctor physically examines you with a finger method.

Because a man dies every nineteen minutes from prostate cancer, and one in six men will have the disease according to the latest statistics by the American Cancer Society, these important steps can save his life.  The worst case scenario here is that you improve the quality of his life, through healthful habits so that he can share more quality years with you.

Maybe next time around you might want to schedule a doctor’s visit and take the guy in yourself.   Whether you call him pappy, dad, ole man, daddy, or pops, doing this one act of kindness for him will not only draw you closer , but the other benefits are also obvious. 

I hope you have received this message in a bottle and be the first to claim your cookie.  Your well deserved cookie for ensuring much more father’s days.

In the meantime read my story by clicking this title link:  Prostate Cancer And Me…Or You, The Two Stages, (Man To Man) available at Amazon.com.

Continue to look for the piece coming up THE REAL REASONS WE DIE.

Until then walk good and pack light.

"Hunger,love, pain, fear, are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation" - Albert Einstein.

I observed two elder people walking, talking, communing.  What a beautiful picture, I always thought.  The female always held the male’s hand. The upper part of the hand , between the socket joint and the elbow, not the palm.  She did this it seemed like for support from the stronger of the two.  Palms were not interlocked like younger in love people do, they had long graduated from this amorous love birds position to one of support and reliance.

Love was still in the air though as I observe their unhurried, leisurely stroll.  Few weeks later I observe them no more.  I then learned that he had died suddenly and she could not carry on and went to sleep within a month after his death.

Love.  I remember when I was bitten by this strange bug for the first time. It wasn’t puppy love either as I found myself thinking of a life and a future with this girl. She was the smell of the rain and roses in one.  The song of the birds and the rusting of the winds.  She was the dewdrops and the rising sun. she made me wanna sing and jump to be frolicly and happy. This was the love that made me couldn’t even open my mouth for food when in her presence.

I remembered that love when I reflected on that couple and thought to my self that they probably felt that too. Love.  What a mysterious feeling between too people!  So much so that if you throw yourself into it without reservation can even result in deaths.  It is at this juncture of my churning thoughts that I stop to think of this thing.  Love makes you throw caution to the wind, makes you do almost anything, makes you jump about and frolic like a little jack rabbit. Makes you not want your dinner as the arms of the lover is warmer. Indeed love makes you write songs and poems.

Yes the heart is closely attributed to the this thing called love.  Arguably the seat of emotions, it emits and creates a type of chemistry that seals people in bonds.  The bond is so strong that it allows you to jump onto a wrecking train together whereby if one goes the other has no stamina nor reasons to continue. 

Then enters the brain that says maybe this should not be so.  The brain the seat of reason.Then the pugilists enters the ring, the brain and the heart will duke it out, and if the heart wins, it is blind love. 

But isn’t it Einstein who said ‘love’ is one of the inner forces which rule the individual’s instinct for self preservation?  Wow! He is talking about self preservation.  Is this to be interpreted and understand that you have to love yourself for self preservation?  Could the question be that you cant love another until you learn to love yourself? If your are to love others as you love yourself the tenet  and essence of the golden rule, should you not love yourself first ?  how could you say you love somebody when you have come not to love yourself first ?

I really love this love and self preservation thing. And had I got it in my head before the heart got me it would have saved me a lot of heart aches over the years.

I would have loved me so much that I would appreciate that this is so paramount to self preservation and that I can live long and strong for the one I love.  To love yourself means you are really loving, as this will enable you to give a gift to the other of a healthy, dynamic person, and an individual preserved for longevity. It would mean doing almost anything to eat right, exercise, and have regular doctor visits to ensure you are on the path to good health, and not on wrecking train.

Today men are dying from Prostate Cancer and they do not have to. I can attest to this fact because I am alive. I could have been dead, particularly seeing I am from Jamaica, where we have the highest incidence of the disease in the world.  Today I am alive because of my adoption of the self preservation technique of going to the doctor regularly and getting screened for prostate cancer.  Did I love myself? Sure and right I did! I must admit however that at that time I did not know how much I love myself by doing something out of the norm. Today many men work hard, some play hard too.  They will vociferously tell you they love themselves.  How dare you imply that they do not love themselves nor their wives, daughters or sons?

I am saying that if you do love yourself and your family, you would think like one of the smartest man who ever lived, Albert Einstein.

It was him, not me, who implied that loving yourself is paramount to self preservation.  So shouldn’t you want to adopt this tenet that you should love yourself first and take care of yourself before your can truly say you love someone?  When you are offering a lifetime to someone in love it is a sacrifice in many ways. My man, shouldn't your sacrifice be whole, healthy, pure, without blemish ? Or should you be like the one-eyed sheep upon the alter? Such sacrifices which God rejected!

It is my opinion that failure to love yourself first and do everything to preserve yourself, should make yu a reject.  Let us look at love differently today.  Not like that love that pop star Lady Gaga sang about that she loves him so much she wants his disease. As unselfish as that sound it is utter nonsense as both of you in that blinded love will be dead soon.

Take charge of your destiny today by going to your doctor and have a chat with him.  Preserve yourself so that those who love you will have you to love as long as possible.  You do not have to die prematurely. Get off the wrecking train and take your seat on the survival train, before it is too late.

Read my personal survival story here: Prostate Cancer And Me Or You, The Two Stages (Man To Man).
Look for my upcoming piece THE REAL REASONS WE DIE.  until them walk good and pack light.