Bullying is like cancer. It rears its ugly head up when least expected and wreck havoc in unsuspecting and vulnerable individuals. Like cancer it even demands the ultimate price of death, payable by horrible, slow and debilitating means.
The corroding path that bullying takes, backs up the individuals who are deficient of certain strengths, into inescapable corners and suck and squeeze their life out, just like cancer.
Bullying And The NFL
The stage of humane treatment and civilization, was recently alighted on by the unwelcoming dark light of bullying again.
The confounded acts, acts of regression into subhuman behavior and the caninistic behavior of that of a head feral dog, visited us again. This act though subcultural, of basement mentality, and sadistic, was once again launched into the atmosphere of our conscience. Reasonably it revolted most of us who appropriately cried foul. It was the acts of bullying in the NFL where one lineman of the Miami Dolphins was suspended for his
head-feral-dog behavior, to an otherwise docile new comer.
This act has gone so far, that it had to gain national attention. Any lesser form of the harassment of another human being in this arena, would have deemed as a right of passage, in the proliferation of America’s favorite sport.
When I was Bullied
I grew up in a society that had no tolerance for bullying. In fact the concept of bullying was not even a part of our existence. Many a boy was named “Bully” as a pet name. There were two such boys in my extended family and there was not one vile bone in either of them. Albeit one, who was a prankster. Indeed! To name one BULLY was endearing and affectionate as any other pet name.
This was not to say that there wasn’t a boy or girl for that matter who wouldn’t try to be dominant. It seemed to be normal then with no lasting effect or scar to one’s personality, as invariably, this never went too far. However, if it happens a serious price would have to be paid.
In my time no child was to go home with a complaint about another child harassing (or bullying) them. What you were supposed to do was to take care of matters yourself by whatever means necessary.
(In my book Prostate Cancer And Me…Or You, The Two Stages (Man To Man) I told how I dealt with one such bully).
We would put out the lights of a bully by either ambushing him, or form a pack to beat the crap out of him. If that couldn’t work them we would get a don’t care cousin (One who doesn’t respect God nor man) to bust him up, pugilisticly of course, for us and that is where it would start and stop.
Bullying in other institutions
As I grew older though, I became aware of a type of bullying in boarding schools and colleges that was called “Ragging”. This was indeed for rights of passage and new comers were styled “Grubbs”. (In other worlds “Hazing would be the term for “Ragging”).
Be it known though, that not everyone was subjected to this treatment of “Ragging”.
If you were from certain parts of town you would automatically be a roughneck or from some roughneck connection and no body wants what roughnecks dish out.
If you were big as my friend we called “Bulbos” no one messes with you either. If you could fight and known to kick a teeth or two in, you would certainly be avoided too. I had the pleasure of seeing one senior who was up for some “grubbing” got his face Bruce-Leed by an unassuming freshman. A “kickster” that he was, he was never grubbed again.
So even though there was “bullying” it was kept within the confines of pokings and jokes and not to beat someone down into subservience.
The Bullying of My Son
My son was recently bullied in school and because I did not want to teach him to fight, and especially in the dirty ways I used to fight, I took actions into my own hands, and thereby prevented him from becoming physical with the bully.
This society in my opinion condones and nestles bullying where the offender is not immediately bashed. Facts have to be gathered, witnesses have to be called, opinions have to be given, and sometimes injustice is served. This typically gives a bully the grounds and confidence to continue.
The one who is offended is then left to crawl in a hole or run the risk of reporting the bully to the institution and be ostracized.
Knowing this, this was how I reacted as explained by this letter I wrote to the school:
(School’s name and date)
The ugly and monstrous head of bullying was meted against my child (Child’s name). Because your school and administration is known for a zero tolerance disposition towards this scourge of society I have no misconception that this will be dealt with decisively and severely.
During a transition from class to class yesterday, a boy that my son does not know by name (My son is new) ripped off his cap from his head. According to my son he had proceeded to throw this cap into the trash, when my son held onto it. The boy, in typical bullying fashion, continued to pull the cap away and thereby ripped the locking mechanism to the back of it, rendering the cap useless.
The only infraction my son committed, if you could call it that, was not to report this to you or another administrator. I am not surprised at this as we do teach our children not to be confrontational or volatile. Your investigation into this matter will find that there are witnesses to this dastardly behavior and the evidence of the cap is returned to you for your examination. These should by themselves give you the fuel by which to burn and destroy this unprovoked act of deprivation against my son.
Under these circumstances, please understand that I will not sit back idly where my son’s moral strength, individuality and self esteem are threatened by a bully.
I therefore leave this matter in your capable hands and will remain as a concerned parent, till I hear from your or advised further.
It is a good thing my son has me to fight for him, or God knows what could become of him in this society. Because of my immediate arrival on the scene the situation was effectively rectified and addressed. Truly, I know how to survive and will lend my surviving tactics to my sons. I have been surviving through the seventies, the eighties the nineties and now the two thousands. I have even survived the man disease of prostate cancer.
The End Of All Cancers
I do believe in the imminent ending of all cancers, be it bullying or otherwise.
It will take a destruction of a system as you cannot put new wine in old wine skins. My son may have to survive more bullying cancers, hopefully not prostate cancer like his dad.
It is a sad thing to have prostate cancer, but if caught early it is survivable. This is usually in the later years of one’s life. It is the worst thing though when a child or younger person is bullied and who have to live a sad secluded life, and suffer the pangs of a degraded soul.
I have told my full survival story in the publication mentioned above, and I was bold enough to stand up to the bullies of my life. I feel sad for those who will not stand up and pushed aside like the fellow who had to walk away from the Miami Dolphins because of the other gorilla on the loose.
My story is told, I can tell my son’s story, but how many others will not be told and how many more will suffer, and how many more will die?
Until the end of all cancers is here let us continue surviving.
Please visit my author page at Amazon Author Central for more information on Prostate Cancer And Me…Or You, The Two Stages (Man To Man) and take a peek at my other works in Its On Now and The Face Of Faces.
Until next time walk good and pack light.